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| By Julie Carroll
“You matter to the last moment of your life, and we will do all we can not only to help you die peacefully, but to live until you die”
— Dame Cicely Saunders, founder of the hospice movement
Sandy Boudewyns, a lay minister at Saint Therese Home in New Hope, offers spiritual support to patients and their families in the facility’s palliative care and hospice units. - Photo courtesy of Saint Therese Home At age 35, Bob Pavlicin, an avid biker and mountain climber, was the picture of health. Both he and his wife, Karen, were certain they could overcome any challenge that came into their lives.
Just two years later, however, the former Marine lay in bed, his once muscular frame frail and unrecognizable after a hard-fought battle against an insurmountable enemy — cancer.
When it became clear that Bob's death was imminent, Karen and Bob enlisted a hospice service to help with Bob's last days.
“It’s a very hard decision to go on hospice,” said Karen, 43. “It’s a change in how you view things. . . . You’re not preparing for your next treatment or your next meeting with the doctor; you’re preparing for death and funerals. . . .
“But there were many things that they made a whole lot easier that I can’t imagine facing [alone],” she added.
In addition to a nurse who came by each morning, the hospice service sent a children’s counselor to the Pavlicins’ Woodbury home to help their then 4-year-old son, Alexander, understand and cope with his father’s death. “She helped him realize that he would still sleep in the same bed and his bedroom would be the same, and there were small parts of his life that would be comforting and not in complete upheaval even after this tragic event,” Karen said.
A social worker visited their home to provide practical information, such as a list of local funeral homes; a contact at the Pavlicins’ church, St. Ambrose of Woodbury; and arrangements Karen would have to make after Bob’s death. The social worker provided emotional and spiritual support to the family as well, Karen said.
Volunteers also were available to come to their home in the event that Karen needed to go to the store or take her son someplace.
Karen said hospice helped her husband maintain a sense of dignity throughout the dying process.
“In addition to the many levels of emotions that a person has to deal with thinking about dying and leaving your family, there’s just the very basic physical challenges, and his hospice nurse made those challenges easier,” she said. “It allowed him to have a sense of humor about the situation he was in, so we were very thankful for that.”
In the year after Bob’s death, the children’s counselor continued to call and meet with Alexander periodically. Karen also attended a memorial service with other hospice families who had lost family members around that time.
Throughout this most difficult time, Karen was surrounded by people who helped her keep her faith. “I’ve always felt like I had a very strong faith,” she said. “But going through this, now I understand what strong faith really is.”
Karen has written and recorded a CD titled “Little Bit of Faith” in honor of her husband and to help other families grieving the loss of loved ones.
“Everyone knows someone who is facing a trial or loss and could use encouragement. And most of us know someone touched by cancer,” she said. “My hope is that this music will help on both fronts — as encouragement for those searching for inspiration and to help raise money to find a cure for cancer.”
Many families with loved ones facing terminal illness have found solace and support in hospice care, which is derived from the medieval concept of a place where pilgrims, the sick and dying could find rest and comfort, according to www.hospicenet.org.
Contemporary hospice offers a comprehensive care program to patients facing lifethreatening illness and their families, either in the patient’s home or in a dedicated facility.
“Hospice affirms life and regards dying as a normal process,” the Web site says. “Hospice neither hastens nor postpones death.”
Rather, the focus is on providing professional medical care, pain relief and comfort to the dying. Teams of professionals, including doctors, nurses, social workers, therapists, pastoral ministers and volunteers, work together to meet the physical, emotional and spiritual needs of patients and their family members.
At Catholic-affiliated Saint Therese Home in New Hope, which provides both palliative and hospice care, spirituality is woven into all areas of care, according to Saint Therese spokesperson Janet Gibson.
A priest, several sisters and a lay minister provide pastoral care to patients and their families. However, doctors, nurses and other staff members also are in tune to people’s spiritual needs.
Every month, a team of physicians meets to review patients’ cases. “They look at the clients holistically, so it isn’t just a medical review; it’s very much a spiritual review,” said Denise Juday Barnett, administrator of the palliative care center. Often, the source of patients’ pain and suffering is spiritual, she said. Other times, it’s because they’re worried about leaving their spouse or children.
The physicians work with lay minister Sandy Boudewyns to find out if patients are experiencing anxiety. “It’s not always a pill that we can give [to ease their pain],” Boudewyns said. “It’s just helping them find that peace.”
She prays with patients and their families, brings them Communion and reads Scripture to them. Boudewyns also maintains contact with grieving family members to provide support and encouragement after a loved one dies.
Another part of Boudewyns’ job is to provide grief support to the staff at Saint Therese.
“If you do your job really well in this kind of business, you can’t help but get close to some residents,” she said. “And it’s a gift of working in this business, as well. It’s just an honor to be able to get that close and that intimate with people who are in the dying process.”
For more information about Karen Pavlicin’s CD “Little Bit of Faith,” go to www.LittleBitofFaith.com.
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“Thank you for all your help and kindness. You certainly have a right to be proud of Saint Therese as each of you have made it a wonderful place to recuperate.”
- Bill
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