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| | For the elderly, change is particularly traumatic. Whether he or she is moving to a loved one’s home or into a facility, the thought can be overwhelming and emotional. Ease the situation by careful preparation. Don’t wait for a crisis. The better prepared you are, the faster both you and your loved one will be able make the adjustment.
*If possible, include your loved one in planning the move. This helps him or her feel viable and in control.
*Make several trips to his or her new home to help them become familiar with the surroundings. Point out the positive things.
*Let your loved one choose the belongings he or she wants to bring.
*Make a celebration of his or her life as you go through possessions.
*Listen to what your loved one wants and try to accommodate.
*Allow your loved one to grieve. This is a milestone; give him or her time and the tools to fully feel and process the experience.
Moving to Your Home
If your loved one is moving into your home, be certain to prepare fully before the move. Depending on physical and mental health, the goal is to make him or her feel as independent as possible.
*Make sure all appropriate safety precautions and modifications have been made. Safety is the priority.
*If possible and appropriate, make sure your loved one can have privacy in your home when he or she needs “some space.” Provide a private phone line.
*Encourage your loved one to decorate a space in your home with meaningful things from his or her home.
*Let your loved one have his or her personal television/radio and computer, if appropriate.
*Acquaint your loved one with your and your family’s routines and schedules.
*Make sure your loved one and caretakers have a list of emergency phone numbers.
*Before the move, set boundaries for everyone, but keep it light.
*Build your team. Medical professionals, clergy, caretakers, friends, and family are all important members. Treat everyone with respect.
Moving to a Facility
Many of the same considerations should be taken into account when moving to a facility. Additionally:
*Get a jump on the paperwork, financials, and procedures before the move so you can focus on you loved one during and immediately after the move.
*Spend time with the facility’s financial representative to be sure everything is in place and you are on the same page.
*Make many visits to the facility before the move, with and without your loved one.
*Personal effects and furniture should be chosen to stimulate memory, soothe and trigger feelings of comfort and security, but with safety in mind. Don’t forget personal items such as favorite toiletries, reading materials, favorite pillows etc.
*Educate the facility’s staff about your loved one’s habits, likes and dislikes. The more the staff knows, the more they can help.
*Introduce your loved one to staff, particularly those who will be involved with his or her care. Remember, they are part of your team.
Encourage friends and other family members to visit and visit often. Remember, this will be emotional for everyone involved. Try to keep the lines of communication open and utilize outside support when necessary.
Janet Louise Gibson is the author of “SeniVision, the New Outlook on Senior Lifestyle and Care,” a toolkit for senior planning and care, published by WiseLife Press.
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“A graceful and honorable old age is the childhood of immortality”
- Pindar
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